The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
19 Atrocious Photos That Prove Engagement Pics Are Always a Bad Idea
Our philosophy with wedding planning is simple -- just let the woman have what she wants as long as it doesn't involve future shame. Engagement photos are future shame.
21 Things That Ruined Your Summer Vacation As a Kid
Summer vacation is the greatest time in a kid's life. No school. No bullies. No teachers. No worries.
BREAKING NEWS: Kate Upton Spotted Wearing a White Bikini and Events Like This Make Us Miss Walter Cronkite
Did you know Kate Upton is filming a movie in the Hamptons with Mrs. Judd Apatow and the girl who really hasn't done much since 'The Mask' but once got Ben Stiller's sperm in her hair?
Candy Company Offers Breast Milk Flavored Lollipops — Makes For Great Treat After Therapy
The award-winning gourmet lollipop company, Lollyphile, has never been afraid to experiment with off-the-wall flavors.
Four years ago, the "adult candy company" started producing absinthe-flavored suckers just before the absinthe ban was lifted...
Students Find World War II Hiding Spot in Their Attic
It's every child's dream to stumble upon a hidden treasure in their very own home. Think how many hours of youth are spent knocking on hollow walls, digging in the backyard and exploring crawl spaces in the hopes of finding something, anything, of value.
Minor League Player Steals Home to the Delight of All Seven Fans in the Stands
Minor League baseball is often the place to find some of the most exciting plays of the year. Thankfully, those plays are available to watch online. It's much easier than fighting the massive crowds that pack minor league stadiums across the US...
This Video Pretty Much Sums Up Every Customer Service Experience Ever
I don't even bother calling customer service anymore. If I've got an issue with something, I just rub on some magic voodoo dolls I bought at a Walgreens and hope the issue resolves itself as quickly as possible.
This gentleman in the video still believes customer service can be of some help...
It’s Time For ‘March Sadness’ — The Bracket of Everything that Makes a Guy Sad
March Madness brackets and the crowning of an NCAA champion in men's basketball is important to a select few people. The crowning of the saddest thing that can happen to a man is much more vital to the our readers. We're just assuming. We're just kind of sick of talking about basketball. We're burned out and the tourney isn't even a day old.
Let’s Celebrate 50 Years of Bret Michaels With Some Embarrassingly Awesome Photos
Bret Michaels, the former leader of Poison, winner of 'Celebrity Apprentice' and driving force behind all those awesome seasons of 'Rock of Love' turns 50 years old today.
Sign the Petition to Make May 20th ‘National Macho Man Randy Savage Day’
"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!" - Macho Man Randy Savage
Everyday, in the United States, we celebrate a national "something" day. There is a National Pancake Day because we're all fat. There is National Donut Day because...wait explained that. It's absurd. It's time for a holiday that celebrates one of our national treasures -- Randy 'Macho
Sofia Vergara’s ‘Machete Kills 2′ Poster Proves Her Breasts are Indeed Lethal Weapons
Sofia Vergara is in 'Machete Kills', the sequel to the successful Robert Rodriguez flick staring Danny Trejo and a whole lot of blood. In the sneak peek posters, Vergara lets the world know her breasts have a featured role in the film. Check out the cannons attached to those cannons...