Chris Illuminati
Chris is the editor-in-chief of GuySpeed. He's written three books, and previous to this position, he contributed to AskMen, Penthouse, Maxim and many other magazines and websites. Follow him on Twitter.
Chris Illuminati
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Here is Why I Can’t Wait To Stop Trimming My Nose Hairs [Half a Man]
It was, by far, the largest clump of nose hair thine eyes had seen in the flesh. A county fair worthy thatch of hair protruding out the left nostril, like weeds who had found a small sidewalk crack out of which to flourish. It was mesmerizing, snow white, and honestly I couldn't stop since he boarded the train.
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Watch this College Football Player Casually Complete a 65” Box Jump
For some people, athleticism looks boring. Take Dan Sullivan for example, a 6'2, 235 pound linebacker from Monmouth University in New Jersey. He makes this 65" box jump look like he was skipping over a puddle and onto a curb as to not ruin his brand new kicks.
Hones
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Rhinestone Pokeball Bra is Making Our Pokeman Stiff
Sure to be loved by all Pokeman fans and hated by women who actually want to wear a comfortable bra -- the Rhinestone Pokeball Bra is now available on Etsy.
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Guy Builds Limo of Junk Parts Worth $1M
If you collect enough junk, and add up the value, it will eventually be worth something -- especially if you attach all that crap to a limo.
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Heather Cox Gets Snubbed During Rose Bowl Interview and Asks ‘Are You Kidding Me?!?’
Hell hath no fury like a sideline reporter getting snubbed on national television. Fine, maybe ESPN reporter Heather Cox didn't unleash hell, but she did get a little miffed.
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Stainless Steel Paper Clip is So For Money and It Doesn’t Even Know It
Back before we were pulling in mad cash for writing this blog, several of the writers and editors used common office supplies for other purposes. We used bulldog clips during office S&M sessions, scrap paper as kindling to heat the office and paper clips to hold our dollar bills together.
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Man Drives Same Rolls-Royce For 78 Years
You can't take it with you. Isn't that the expression people always use when they want your stuff after you drop dead? Mr. Allen Swift knew he couldn't take his 1928 Rolls-Royce Piccadilly P1 Roadster with him to the afterlife, but he made sure it was well taken care of after they tossed him into the ground.
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Batman Chess Set Would Only Make Sense in Stately Wayne Manor
DUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNADUNNA CHESS SET! Yeah, not as catchy.
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Pockets Are For Squares — Carry Cash in the Cash Capsule
Wallets are for granddad and kids with a Velcro obsession. Real men use money clips or just fold their dough into their front pants pocket. These are the normal, yet not always safe, options.
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Show Gratitude For Your Crappy Gifts With These Filthy Xmas Cards
It's easy to send Thank You cards for awesome Xmas gifts but what is appropriate when a show of gratitude is in order but the gift sucked jingle balls?
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Watch This Clearly Insane Fella Smash Another Driver’s Windshield With His Fist
This video might be good reason for everyone to get a dashboard cam.
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Why Pretending to Appreciate Bad Xmas Gifts is Harder Than Faking Orgasms — Half a Man
I’m here to share my expertise with the group. Not about faking orgasms (you’re on your own kid) but to share what I’ve seen, what I’ve learned, and the best ways to react to crap gifts or to avoid the situation all together.