Finally, I get to write about one of my favorite subjects. Filthy, Public Restrooms. In particular, filthy, public restrooms...in Victoria, The best/worst. The funniest/saddest. In General, the public restroom is the embodiment of the dualistic nature of all that is human. What? Sorry if I got a little deep on you there. What I mean, is that you love them for the very same reasons you hate them. Ever smelled something so foul in a public restroom, that all you can do is laugh hysterically? I have. Ever seen something so shockingly vile in a restroom, that you had to take a picture so people would believe you? Yep, me too. The top five filthiest restrooms in Victoria is a personal list of mine. I'm sure I'm leaving several off though. So feel free to respond and either debunk my list or add to it. Give me a personal experience, relating to a filthy, public restroom here in our fair burg. So without pointing fingers, here's my list:

 

5

A Local Mall Restroom - Hmmmm...I wonder which mall, here in Victoria?

 
 
You know, a father taking his three year old daughter into the restroom with him is a challenge. And two years ago, I was at this particular mall here in town, and had to do just that. I had to help her, my wife wasn't around, and I can't very well take her into the women's restroom. So I bit the bullet and took her into the men's. She proceeded to repeat, "oooooohhh" and "shooooooo"!!! She was pointing at the mounds of harshly used toilet paper that was piled up in the trash can. She asked me, "daddy, why did somebody do that?". How do you answer that? "There's a lot of sick people in the world, Ally", I told her. Just recently I had to snap a cell phone pic of the hulking, unbroken monster I saw clogging up the toilet there, as well. Same restroom. Somehow the "Producer" of this wretched beast, apparently had smeared himself not only on the seat, but also on the walls of the stall and managed to make a blasphemous mockery of the remaining toilet paper on the roll.
 
4

Local "Boobie Bar" - Again, hmmmmmm....I wonder which place this is.

 
 
C'mon, do I really even have to explain this one. The amount of shady dealings that have happened in that bathroom over the years is probably staggering. And that AIN'T lines of Ajax on the counter top. The floor and wall around the commodes might as well have been painted with yellow polkadots. At least they're yellow though and not other colors. If you've never been to this establishment, let me set the scene. When the smoking ban passed, my wife and I were there visiting a friend (cool wife, huh?) and this particular bar had made a little smoker's patio/breezeway, so we found ourselves kind of gravitating towards it, seeing as how we'd never been in a bar you couldn't smoke in before. Hours passed as patrons just stepped around puddles of puke on the patio. It wasn't like that it could've been mistaken for some other kind of liquid either. This was full of fruit cocktail like chunks, yet looked and smelled a little like Thousand Island Salad Dressing too. If they let their patio go that way, just imagine what the restroom is like. Yeah...Exactly. Enough Said.
 
3

National Chain Buffet Restaurant - This particular establisment, serves mainly American Food. I love to eat there. But the food's deliciousness could only be overshadowed by the filthy restroom.

 
 
To be fair though, their bathroom isn't as bad as some on this list. But like they say, "Location, location location". This bathroom is nestled snugly between a common food area, where people are filling up their plates, and the area where the food is being cooked and prepared. A little too close for comfort. A few weeks ago I was there with my family and realized that there was no soap or hand sanitizer in the men's room. NAAAASTY!!! Good thing I was on my way out. I thought about saying something to management. But figured since I was leaving, that it was somebody else's problem now. Hooray for Ecoli!!! 2) Major Book Store - There must be a lot of Coffee intolerant folks that frequent this particular store. But it could be, and most likely is, really just about staff laziness. Because it appears as though nobody ever cleans the restrooms there. My wife says the Women's restroom there is the worst in town. I'll take her word for it. Perhaps I should find a motivational book for their staff, next time I'm perusing. Or at least one titled, "How Not To Leave Smeared Poo in the Restroom".
 
2

Local Gym & Tanning facility - I LOVE this place. But there's one part of this place that has to change. The restrooms.

 
 
There's no true changing room at this Gym, so if you don't enter the building wearing what you're working out in, you'll be forced to deal with this unpleasant situation. This building was not always a gym. It was an establisment before this that kept a pretty messy Men's room too. Things never changed when it became a gym. There's a urinal that is, more often than not, out of order. There's two stalls. One is small. The other one appears to have been one made to accommodate a handicapped person. So it's huge. That's where people change. In that stall, you'll find a fabric covered, rolling, office chair. It supposed to be solid blue. But try telling that to all of the little yellow spots on it. Do you think that chair has EVER been cleaned? Very doubtful. The nasty part is....That's where everyone sets their clothes when they change. Taking your shoes on and off is a harrowing experience too. You will be forced to stand on the floor in just your socks, if only for a moment. And of course, after you get your shoes back on, they'll be sticking to whatever you walk on for the rest of the day. There's always plenty of dead bugs in there too. I don't know if the smell killed them or what. Always remember that half the guys frequenting a gym are experimenting with various supplements and high protein diets. This doesn't exactly do a lot for the smell of a men's room. But if a Cock Roach can survive a Nuclear Holocaust, but not an hour in this place, then something is definitely wrong.
 
1

Major Book Store

 
 
There must be a lot of Coffee intolerant folks that frequent this particular store. But it could be, and most likely is, really just about staff laziness. Because it appears as though nobody ever cleans the restrooms there. My wife says the Women's restroom there is the worst in town. I'll take her word for it. Perhaps I should find a motivational book for their staff, next time I'm perusing. Or at least one titled, "How Not To Leave Smeared Poo in the Restroom".
 

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