The ‘Angry Birds’ franchise has officially become an icon of gaming excellence and a fan favorite for anyone carrying an Android device or an iPhone. That means that, according to the rules of pop culture popularity, someone has to try to tarnish that legacy by turning it into a flimsy film. It’s a law. Look it up.

That’s why Rovio, the company behind the successful ‘Angry Birds’ games, hired a former Marvel Studios executive to oversee the project for the inevitable ‘Angry Birds’ movie in the hopes they can turn their creation into a halfway decent story.

The focus and style of the game may be a bit whimsical and silly, but that won’t stop Hollywood’s latest auteur from taking the latest movie market projections and twisting this visionary game into his or her own twisted vision. Thankfully, even though we’re a long way away from watching these cherished characters get tarnished by the prospect of a big screen adaptation for an easy buck, that hasn’t stopped the fans from doing it themselves for considerably lower production costs.

The Robert-Ludlum-ish ‘Angry Birds’ Movie

‘Angry Birds’ might have been designed to appeal to adults with engaging gameplay and kids with colorful designs and characters, but parents aren’t going to have the patience to sit through an ornithology-inspired ‘Happy Feet’ movie that will inevitably make them want to strangle a bird by the time it’s done. The team at Rooster Teeth, the folks that started the “Machinima” movement with the ‘Halo’ comedy series ‘Red vs. Blue,’ cooked up a military style thriller with their trailer that mixes with just enough government espionage to make for a halfway decent twist ending.

The Guy Ritchie Meets Joe Carnahan-ish ‘Angry Birds’ Movie

A movie like ‘Angry Birds’ has to be some kind of a comedy and when Hollywood realizes that, they will still probably try to cram in explosive pyrotechnics and unbelievable loud gunfights that wouldn’t sound as loud in real life if you put your ear right next to the gun barrel. Thankfully, movies like ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’ and ‘Smoking Aces’ can find ways to be funny without skimping on the fiery action and Machinima found a way to do just that with the ‘Angry Birds’ franchise as well as with some the cutest gun toting “birds” we’ve ever seen at the movies.

The M. Night Shyamalan-ish ‘Angry Birds’ Movie

If, however, angry birds existed in the real world, it would be a horrifying scenario. Property damages would skyrocket. Pork prices would go through the roof. People’s lives would be in danger. This trailer imagines an ‘Angry Birds’ movie from the perspective of just about any horror film and then gives it a twist that makes you wish you could take back the minutes you spent watching it, which is perfect for a parody but horrifying for one of M. Night’s bound to be terrible films. And we’re not talking about the good kind of horrifying. It’s more like the kind of horrifying you remember forever so you can tell your grandchildren what you witnessed to get them to straighten up and fly right.

The Nobuhiko Obayashi-ish ‘Angry Birds’ Movie

The man who directed the insane 1977 Japanese horror film ‘House’ could definitely bring the most unique perspective to the ‘Angry Birds’ franchise, albeit with a lot more blood, gore and inanimate objects that eat people whole. This trailer from the notorious Taiwanese media outlet Next Media Animation seems to have channeled Obayashi’s twisted vision for the ‘Angry Birds’ and believe it or not, it’s one of the more grounded trailers to come out of the company, which usually features more appearances by Adolph Hitler in S&M bondage gear than the History Channel during sweeps.

Danny Gallagher is a freelance writer, reporter, humorist and dominatrix motion capture actor. He regularly contributes to TheFW.com and TruTV’s Dumbasablog.com. He has also appeared at Cracked.com, Asylum.com, TVSquad.com, Mentalfloss.com and TheSmokingJacket.com. He can be found on the web at www.dannygallagher.net, Facebook and on Twitter @thisisdannyg.

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