KLUB 106.9 The Rock » masturbation

Bad News, Fellas: Masturbation Apparently Does Not Cure Insomnia

Mike Adams — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 12:15:34 +0000

Medical experts have concluded that petting the walrus for Jesus, wrestling the bald-headed champ, punchin’ the munchkin, bopping the bologna, beating off, masturbating, or whatever you choose to call playing with yourself will not help a person fall asleep – no matter how much they do it. Shucks. In fact, while scientists say that stroking [...]

Victorian Penis Armor Thought to Prevent Insanity, Masturbation

Mike Adams — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 13:30:00 +0000

Anti-masturbation devices, such as the one pictured up top, were used in the stained glass days of the Victorian sex age, where everyone from scholars, Catholic porno cults and Cloister prostitutes believed that masturbation caused the degeneration of civil society by inflicting the rosy palm populous with physical and mental disorders and venereal disease.

Man Arrested for Killing Knuckle Children in Neighbor's Homes

Mike Adams — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 00:00:28 +0000

In a strange case of jerking and entering, an Oregon man was arrested earlier this week for allegedly breaking into people’s homes and wrestling the old bald headed champ while watching porn on their personal computers. Not only that, but apparently this twisted little monkey-spanking fiend wasn’t even considerate enough to clean up after himself [...]

Chronic Masturbator Sues To Gain Access to Porn in Jail

Amory Gritta — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 11:30:41 +0000

Kyle Richards, a prisoner awaiting sentence on a bank robbery conviction, claims he suffers from chronic masturbation syndrome and needs porn to manage his affliction.

And since the 21-year old isn’t being provided access to pornography behind bars in Michigan’s Macomb County jail, he is suing the state and Gov. Rick Snyder for cruel and unusual punishment under the Eighth Amendment.