KLUB 106.9 The Rock » Dumb Criminals

Furious Man Stupidly Calls Police to Complain About Ugly Prostitute He Hired

Drew Weisholtz — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:00:39 +0000

Buyer, beware. A man in Britain was so upset about what the prostitute he paid for looked like when they met up at a hotel, he decided to call the police to complain in the funniest bit of dialogue to come out of the country since Ricky Gervais created ‘The Office.’ The john contacted authorities [...]

Man Steals $35 Worth of Ribs, Goes to Jail for 50 Years

Drew Weisholtz — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 22:12:09 +0000

What’s that they say about the punishment fitting the crime? A man in Waco, Texas has been sentenced to 50 years in prison after he was convicted of stealing a rack of ribs. Willie Smith Ward, 43, committed his fall-off-the-boneheaded crime back in 2011 when he pilfered the ribs from a grocery store and then [...]

High Schooler Changes Fellow Student's Name in Yearbook to Lewd Term, Gets Busted

Donald Deane — Thu, 30 May 2013 22:25:21 +0000

Missouri high school student Kaitlyn Booth probably thought she was pulling off the mother of all pranks when she changed a fellow student's last name to an offensive term in the school's yearbook, but now the joke's on her. Booth has been arrested and could be charged with a felony.

Father Arrested After Letting 9-Year-Old Daughter Drive Car

Donald Deane — Wed, 22 May 2013 11:20:06 +0000

In our experience, parents generally let their small children drive when they're too drunk to drive themselves. But a father in Ohio was apparently stone cold sober when he let his 9-year-old daughter drive the family car. Can't blame alcohol for this one, dude. That dumb decision was all yours.

Houston Mom in Running for Worst Mom in the World for Putting Three-Year-Old Son Up for Adoption on Craigslist

Adam West — Fri, 17 May 2013 15:04:03 +0000

Craigslist is a great resource for meeting people and buying and selling almost anything. But when it comes to giving away children, there are probably better ways. That didn't stop a Houston, Texas woman from offering her three-year-old for adoption on the service, however.

Burglar Calls Cops While Burgling, to Report Imaginary Burglar

Drew Weisholtz — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 19:00:34 +0000

Marius Ionescu is a burglar who likes to work alone. The 31-year-old Romanian man was robbing a house when he came up with the brilliant idea of calling the police, after he heard a noise that he thought was another intruder. Sounds like the only thing this guy has any business breaking into is [...]

Woman Assaults Boyfriend For Singing 'Thrift Shop' Over and Over

Jeremy Taylor — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 18:40:54 +0000

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis' smash hit 'Thrift Shop' in undoubtedly a very catchy song. But is the ode to finding bargain basement prices a good song?

Therein lays the problem for many folks, including Samanta Malson of Longmont, Colorado who now faces jail because 'Thrift Shop' really got under her skin.

Woman Arrested For April Fool's Day Robbery Prank

Jeremy Taylor — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:08:23 +0000

It’s becoming harder and harder to pull a good April Fool’s Day prank. We blame the internet for this, as not long after you log on you are reminded of the tricky nature of April 1 and thus put your guard up. One way to circumvent the new always-in-your-face April Fool’s reality is pull the [...]

Angry Mother with a Grudge Begs Daughter, 7, to Pepper Spray Dollar Store Employees

Drew Weisholtz — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 22:23:39 +0000

Don’t let others fight your battles for you – especially not your seven-year-old daughter. Police in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania say Delaina Garling asked her daughter, 7, to pepper spray employees at a dollar store where Garling had been banned for alleged theft. Garling went to Family Dollar Store on Monday before employees tried to walk [...]

Man Claims Stolen Beer Is His Wiener

Mike Adams — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 11:08:09 +0000

In a wicked world of dishonest boozehounds and ripple junkies, one should never be too surprised by the size of the cojones on these shifty characters; that is, unless the bulge in their pants carries a striking resemblance to a couple cans of beer. At that point, you can rest assure that you are being ripped off.

Enraged Man Beats Woman in Wheelchair for Eating Last Piece of Chicken

Drew Weisholtz — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 12:45:01 +0000

Some people have no clue how to treat the handicapped. Police in Pacolet, South Carolina arrested 44-year-old Clifford Smith last weekend because he attacked a wheelchair-bound woman after she ate the last piece of chicken during dinner. Smith and some other people were chowing down, along with the woman, when she helped herself to the [...]

Man Arrested After Breaking Into Restaurant, Eating 16 Slices of Pie and Falling Asleep

Joe Student — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 12:02:48 +0000

A man broke into a Baltimore fast-food restaurant last month and ate 16 slices of pie before falling asleep and being captured, police say. Baltimore police responded to a break-in at a Popeye's chicken restaurant on Feb. 19, whereupon they found a 62-year-old man asleep on the floor of the establishme

Man Calls 911 Nine Times to Request a Cheeseburger-Your Dumbass of the Day

Adam West — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 19:08:24 +0000

There is just something about fast food that makes people abuse 911. In the past, folks have been arrested after calling emergency services to report problems with their orders at Burger King, McDonald’s, Subway and Hardee’s. Gregory Jackson Sr. decided to cut out the middleman. Instead of going to his local restaurant chain to be disappointed, [...]

Woman Loses Tooth In Burglar's Hand

Jeremy Taylor — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 21:30:42 +0000

Police in the Cayman Islands are on the look out for a local woman’s tooth. They may well find it still stuck in the hand of the man who “stole” it from her. What had happened is the woman awoke early Friday morning to find a burglar in her house. The thief tried to silence her screams [...]

Thief Arrested After Trying To Ransom Stolen Lemur

Jeremy Taylor — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 20:10:34 +0000

James Edward Welborn Jr. probably didn’t have primate theft on his mind when he broke into Julie Harris’s home in Mobile, Alabama. But there was Gizmo, a two-year old lemur, and Welborn allegedly snagged it along with Harris’s TV. The problem with stealing an exotic animal is that it is much more difficult to pawn off than [...]

World's Creepiest Mom French Kissed Jailed Son to Pass Him Drugs

Jeremy Taylor — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 00:42:50 +0000

Things got awkward when 54-year-old Kimberly Margeson visited her 30-year-old son William Partridge at the Yates County jail in upstate New York. That’s because the big open mouth kiss mom planted when greeting her boy included quite a bit of tongue. (“So that’s how it is in their family,” we can hear Mr. Rooney say.) But there [...]

Rude Girl Flips Off Judge, Gets 30 Days in Lockup

Emerald Catron — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 12:15:06 +0000

Left on her own without legal representation, this girl (who was awaiting arraignment for a first arrest) was in over her head. It probably also didn't help that she didn't get the sobering reality of being physically present in court to knock some sense into her, since this is a video arraignment taking place from jail, where she is nervous and surrounded by other inmates. Oh, and it doesn't help that this judge is clearly some kind of jerk.

Desperate Men Commit Inside Job in Crime of the Century, Stealing $65,000 Worth of Chicken Wings

Drew Weisholtz — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 20:30:22 +0000

The brains behind a fowl crime in Georgia’s Gwinnett County thought they’d get away with it on a wing and a prayer. Especially a wing. Two men identified as Renaldo Jackson and Dewayne Patterson have been arrested for stealing $65,000 worth of frozen Tyson chicken wings. The wings were pilfered from Nordic Cold Storage where [...]

Man Addicted to Stealing TVs Finally Gets Caught

Drew Weisholtz — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 13:45:21 +0000

Matthew Colleluori is in LC-deep trouble. The 33-year-old man was arrested Tuesday in Marple, Pennsylvania for stealing not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE big-screen TVs from the same Walmart over a six-day period. Perhaps he was thinking about opening his own sports bar. Or starting his Christmas stealing early this year [...]

Braying Getaway Donkey Foils Robbery

Jeremy Taylor — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 17:00:41 +0000

Three thieves wanted to knock over a small shop in the Columbian village of Juan de Acosta. For their getaway, they enlisted the services of a donkey. Or stole the service is more like it, as they had snatched 10-year-old Xavi from his pen 12 hours earlier. This proved to be a very bad idea. The [...]