Pre-K Bullies? Really ?

 Since When were there Pre-K bullies?  Could this be karma?  I admit it.  I was a bit of a bully.  Are my kids going to be bullied now?  Wow.  My daughter, who turned five last week, has repeatedly had trouble with one particular girl in her Pre-K class.  The school has been notified about our displeasure on multiple occasions.  The two girls are supposed to be separated.  This usually happens for about a week after each incident.  Then it's right back to letting them do whatever they want.  My wife even tried to do the "neighborly, Cuero thing" of talking directly to the little girl's mom.  This didn't work out to well though.  Her mom was not receptive to my wife's gesture at all.    She basically said, "What do you want me to do about it?"  Well.....You could start by being parent.  We've heard, through our sources, that she doesn't spank.  That's mistake number one, in my personal opinion.  But my point has less to do with what kind of consequences there are for her daughter's behavior, and more to do with are there effective consequences for her actions at all?  If was told that my daughter had been punching, kicking, tripping, biting, spitting on or calling another girl mean names, I would make damn sure there were consequences that might make her reconsider her actions next time. 

I am a reasonable person.  I realize these girls are four and five years old.  I also realize that much is beyond a parent's reach of control.  That's when the school has to interevene.  for eight hours everyday, we entrust our kids to teachers and principals that are there to teach them, protect them and reinforce the absic values that we, as parents, are instilling in our children.  Hitting, biting, spitting, name calling, etc.  is all unacceptable.

My wife was admonished by my daughetr's principal for speaking directly to the child in question.  Yesterday when whe was walking away from the school with my daughter, she told my wife that the little girl had pinched her "again".  So my wife, finally fed up, went right back and spoke directly to the little girl that had been sitting right beside my daughter, despite the fact that they're supposed to be separated.  The principal immediately approached my wife and began loudly & sternly telling her she was not "legally" allowed to speak to someone else's child!!  Really?  Legally?  BS.  So my wife, went in and talked to the principal about the situation again.

Here's the worst part.  We have set out from day one to teach my daughter to go to the teachers and principals with their problems, instead of resorting to physical violence or to engage in name calling.  We've taught her that there is a process and that as long as she told her teachers about it, that everything would be ok.  But the problem is....It's not ok.  We're indirectly responsible for showing our daughter that the system doesn't work.  That she will either have to put up with being spat on and kicked or she'll have to take matters into her own hands, because her authority figures aren't doing anything about it. 

That sucks. 

What a crappy life lesson to learn, at such a young age.  It also really bothers me that my daughter begged not to go to school today.  She never does that.  What does that tell ya?

So my question to you is...What do I do?  I guess I'm going to have another talk with the principal and attempt to "get through" to her parents via the appropriate channels.  We'll see how this goes.  I know I'm normally the jokey, never more than half-serious guy around here.  But I'm dead serious...if you have some advice, lay it on me.    I'd love to hear some outside input.  Maybe I can share it with the principal.