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New Research Findings: Weird Beards + Fluffy Hair + Pornographer Shades = Terrorist

I’m no math genius.  But it’s really a simple formula.  One day it will be recognized with the likes of the Pythagorean Theorem. 

I must admit that I have been absolutely mesmerized by this man’s beard all morning.  I can’t stop staring at it.  Not only the beard though.  Also the tinted glasses and fluffy hair.  He looks like he should be hosting some kind of Home Improvement show on Al Jazeera TV. 

It almost looks as though he had his face blown off and underwent some kind of radical, medical procedure to replace his original face. 

Mesmerizied, I’m tellin’ ya.  Just try to look away from it.  I dare ya.  It will call you back like a Siren song. 

Do you think that when he died, when they were going through his personal belongings, somebody found and called the number to cancel his subscription to BEARD MONTHLY magazine ?  Or is that only a quarterly magazine now? 

These are the questions that the “Western Media” are too afraid to ask.

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