James B. Summers of Madison, Wisconsin walked into the kitchen of his local Denny’s and started cooking himself a meal. In case you were wondering, we can now confirm such behavior is illegal. Noted.

OK, maybe it was a bit more complicated than that — the 52-year old kicked things off with a more subtle approach, telling the diner’s employees that he was their new general manager and he was going to be starting right away.

Perhaps it was the long black trench coat he was wearing, but nobody believed him. As the confused current general manager phoned supervisors, Summers cooked himself a burger and fries.

He was a happily eating said meal, along with a soft drink he helped himself to, when the police arrived. Not at all bothered by the authorities, he continued to calmly insist he was the new general manager, making reference to the always convenient “paperwork goof-up.” The officers weren’t buying it, and they took him away on eventually charges of fraud of a hotel or restaurant keeper, possession of an electric weapon (a taser), disorderly conduct, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

“This is why you don’t dine and dash, kiddies!” Summers told onlookers as he was escorted out.

The last thing anyone eating at a Denny’s can do is ‘dash.’

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