‘Is Cyber Sex Unhealthy — And is it Cheating?’ — Ask Dr. Harry Fisch
Is having cyber sex considered unhealthy — and does it constitute “cheating†on a spouse, even if you never meet? — Daniel, 27, Kansas
Cybersex is arguably safer than real sex because there is no chance of contracting sexually-transmitted diseases or of being physically hurt by another person. Whether cybersex constitutes “cheating†depends on how one defines “cheating.â€
If the cybersex is done with the knowledge and permission of a partner—or even with a partner—then, clearly, it’s not “cheating.†Some people may not consider masturbating (or flirting) via the internet as “cheating†but, if done without a partner’s knowledge, it could certainly be considered as “emotional cheating.â€
There are few clear lines in all of this. For example, it’s normal for people in relationships to masturbate while fantasizing about somebody else. It’s not such a big leap from that to masturbating in the virtual company of another person with whom you have no emotional attachment. But it’s a slippery slope—if emotions do get involved, then you could easily find yourself involved to a degree that distracts or distances you from your “real†partner.
As in many things, the Golden Rule may apply to cyber sex: don’t do what you would not want your partner to do.
Dr. Harry Fisch is a board certified urologist at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Medical College of Cornell University. He’s here to answer reader questions in an effort to get guys to “man up about health.â€
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