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Ha-Ha-macide

I have recently decided that if, and at this point it’s still a big if, I ever decide to become a homicidal maniac, I will have to find a way to lighten the mood so that my victims at least appreciate the fact that I’m clever.  You know what I mean?  Maybe you can help me with this.

If I were to kill a man by hitting him in the head with a surf board, I would have to say something like “Surf’s up, Dude”. 

If I were to kill a man in a wheel chair, rolling him off a cliff or down a set of stairs, I would have to say something like “Let the good times roll”. 

Get it now?

If I were to kill a woman by way of fire, again…a big IF,  I’d say “Daaaaamn, you are smokin!!”.  If it involved cooking her, I would say “Will you be my grillfriend?”.

If I were hitting a head with a mailbox or using a letter opener in some way, I’d have to say “you’ve got mail!!”. 

If I was paper cutting them to death with a large calander, it would depend on what day of the week we were currently on.  Like it was Monday, I’d say “looks like somebody’s got a bad case of the Mundies”.  Or “TGIF!!!”  If it was on a Friday. 

Okay, maybe.  But it’s pretty hard to paper cut someone to death.  I admit it.

If I had a bomb hidden under my shirt, I think I’d ask the person to pull my finger…Then detonate.

Help me out here…What would you say?  This is not saying that you WOULD become a homicidal maniac, anytime soon anyway, but what WOULD you say IF you were?

This is soooo wrong.  That’s what you’ll love about it.  This your chance to shine.

Just curious.

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