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Dumb Criminals

Dumb Criminals

Coffeeaddict, flicker.com
Coffeeaddict, flicker.com
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Man Gets Head Stuck in French Sewer, has to Spend the Night There

A man who got his head stuck in a French sewer, ended up stuck overnight,  and if that weren't bad enough, he had to pay a fine for polluting. Police in Montmelian, France,  say the unidentified 40 yr old man somehow got his head stuck, after accidentally dropping his wallet through the sewer grate, when he was in an underground parking garage.

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Eric Thayer, Getty Images
Eric Thayer, Getty Images
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Dumbest Criminal of 2012 Accidentally Gives Handgun to Cashier He’s Robbing

A bank robber in London foiled his own robbery by handing the teller his own gun.

The unidentified man entered the bank last October with a pair of sunglasses and a flat cap covering his head. He demanded 700,000 pounds f

freddiebrown, Flickr
freddiebrown, Flickr
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Real Life ‘Richie Rich’ Tries to Use Million Dollar Bill at Wal-Mart

Note to self: if you must counterfeit money, at least dummy-up bills that actually exist.

That’s a memo 53-year-old Michael Anthony Fuller from Lexington, North Carolina apparently missed. Back in November, he walked into a local Walmart, picked up $476 in merchandise, and tried to pay for it with a fake million-dollar bill.

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Phone
Pete Prodoehl, flickr
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Clerk Foils Robbery by Being on the Phone

The clerk at the Sheridan Mini Mart in East Bremerton, Washington probably isn't the world's greatest employee. In fact, when a woman came into the store at 10 PM Thursday night the slacker-in-question wouldn't stop talking on his phone as she tried to grab his attention. His conversation was so engrossing that he didn't even care that she had a gun.

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iStockphoto
iStockphoto
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Man Shoots Himself at Hospital to Get More Painkillers

A Billings, Montana hospital denied a patient’s demand for prescription painkillers, so the patient did the only logical thing — he shot himself in the ankle.

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Pennsylvania State Police
Pennsylvania State Police
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Man Calls 911 on Prostitutes Who Refused Him Sex

A hot threesome with two beautiful women while everyone is under a drug-induced thrall is commonly cited as a male fantasy. Jerry Streng tried to live that dream, but quickly discovered the Sophomoric adage is true: all great plans won’t get you laid but they might get you screwed.

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CNN/Covina Police Department/CBS
CNN/Covina Police Department/CBS
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Smile! It’s the Best Mugshots of 2011 [PHOTOS]

CNN/Covina Police Department/CBS

The only two pictures people take that are bound to always be bad are driver's license photos and criminal mugshots. Thankfully, the internet is full of only one of them unless there is a hilarious website of driver's license photos that we have yet to find.

2011 had

St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office
St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office
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Woman Calls 911 Because She ‘Ate Too Much’

This week in ‘terrible ideas that probably even seemed terrible at the time’ takes us to the Sunshine State,  where this stone cold dingbat dialed up 911 to report an emergency. What was the emergency? She was “full.”

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Photo courtesy Volusia County Jail
Photo courtesy Volusia County Jail
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Homeless Man Tries to Use Found Credit Card for Pedicure

Imagine this. You're homeless. You're walking down the street minding your own business, when suddenly you spot something on the ground that catches your eye. You move closer so you can positively identify what it is, and yep, sure enough, it's a credit card. Your mind races thinking of what you could do with it. You could turn it in to police. You could try to use it to buy food. You could use it to buy some clothes, or perhaps some shelter. Nah, that might actually make some sense.

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Fox Detroit
Fox Detroit
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87-Year-Old Man Caught With 104 Bricks of Cocaine [VIDEO]

Police in Michigan pulled an elderly man over during a routine traffic stop, and when he refused a search of his pickup truck, a drug sniffing dog found almost 228 pounds of cocaine in the back.

Police then arrested 87-year-old Leo Sharp for possession of the drug.

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Tru TV
Tru TV
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Stupid Criminal Robs Banks With Note Written on Personal Check [VIDEO]

Looks like we have a brand new candidate for dumbest criminal ever.

Patrick Johnson robbed two banks in the Ocala, FL area in one day. The thief had the presence of mind to change his wardrobe  between his crimes, but his method of sticking up the banks — a note stating he had a gun — was the same both times. 

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The Smoking Gun
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Lousiana Man Arrested Wearing Skimpy Thong Outside Baptist Church

How far would you go for a bet? What crazy activity would you take part in? Would you eat something disgusting? Do something embarrassing  like, oh I don't know, wear a skimpy pink thong while dancing around out side a Baptist church? And, how much would you do it for? $50? $100? How about $300?

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