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Dumb Criminals

Collier County Sheriff's Office
Collier County Sheriff's Office
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Man Blames Motorcycle Crash on Boogeyman

Hey, these are tough times, so even the boogeyman, long known for his work scaring little kids, has had to take a second job.

A Florida man who crashed his motorcycle and is accused of being drunk at the time told police the boogeyman was responsible for the crash.

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Keith Williamson, Flickr
Keith Williamson, Flickr
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Woman Steals Racks of Ribs and Oxtails in Her Purse

Some women carry gum or mints in their purse. Marie Chester carries dinner for a big family.

Police in Fort Pierce, Florida arrested the 40-year-old woman last week for shoplifting six full racks of ribs and two packs of oxtails from a supermarket. Somehow, she carried out the food in her pocketbook. The items she took were worth $57.60.

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Man Accused of Holding Up Convenience Store for 99 Cents
adam*b/flickr
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Man Accused of Holding Up Convenience Store for 99 Cents

A New York man now faces a whopping $50,000 bail after police said he tried to rob a convenience store of 99 cents.

Christopher Tisley, a 34-year-old Brooklyn resident, sauntered into the store at about 3 a.m. on Saturday with a gun and ordered the clerk to hand over the change, according to police.

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Woman Accused of Stealing Gas 8 Times From Same Station
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
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Woman Accused of Stealing Gas 8 Times From Same Station

The high price of gas seems to have gotten to Karleena Kempf.

Police in Galesburg, Illinois arrested the 35-year-old woman Saturday on charges of stealing gas from the same service station on eight different occasions between May 19 and June 10.

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Wanted Man Gets Plastic Surgery To Become Woman In Effort To Avoid Arrest
Xurxo Lobato, Getty Images
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Wanted Man Gets Plastic Surgery To Become Woman In Effort To Avoid Arrest

Aaron Vera Morales is definitely more Vera than Aaron.

Prosecutors in Mexico City say Vera Morales underwent plastic surgery to appear as a woman so he could elude police who were trying to arrest him.

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970  WFLA
970 WFLA
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Epic Fail for Pervert Hiding Camera in Public Bathroom

Florida...it's the Germany of the United States. That is to say, it seems like most of the dumb criminals, weirdos doing weird things kind of stories come from the Sunshine State these days. It seems like only yesterday, they mostly came from Germany. Here's a dumb criminal of the perverted variety, who ended up incriminating himself.

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Man Hides in Suitcase in Order to Steal From Luggage
o5com, Flickr
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Man Hides in Suitcase in Order to Steal From Luggage

Getting a conviction is in the bag.

That may be what prosecutors in Spain are thinking after a man was arrested for theft by worming his body into a suitcase that was loaded onto an airport bus just so he could squeeze back out and steal from other luggage.

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Flicker.com, Mykl Roventine
Flicker.com, Mykl Roventine
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2 Women Caught on Video Stealing Deodorant, and I Mean a LOT of Deodorant

What is it with the strange stuff people steal? Here's one I've never heard of before. From Ft. Pierce, Fla. comes video of 2 women who stole deodorant from a Winn-Dixie store. Police said the women were taped taking sticks of deodorant off the store shelves, and putting them in a purse sitting in a shopping cart they were pushing around the store.

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Man Beats Himself Up To Worm Out Of Drunken Driving Charge
Farmington Police Department
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Man Beats Himself Up To Worm Out Of Drunken Driving Charge

Drinking can cloud your thinking, which may explain why a Farmington, Connecticut man came up with a pretty boneheaded idea.

Authorities say Daniel Vagnini beat himself up to prove to police he had been assaulted to get out of being charged with drunken driving last Saturday.

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Mom Leaves Toddler Son In Car With Dead Body
Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office
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Mom Leaves Toddler Son In Car With Dead Body

If Jessica Ockman had designs on becoming a stage mother, it seems she planned on her little bundle of joy's first role to be in a new 'Weekend at Bernie's' movie.

Authorities in Louisiana's Jefferson Parish have booked the 33-year-old woman on various charges after she left her 20-month-old son in a car for over an hour. The boy wasn't by himself in the car, mind you. Nope - he was in the company of a woman who just so happened to be dead.

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Sunsentinel.com
Sunsentinel.com
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Tough and Ruthless…Would You Believe Rough and Toothless?

Actually, that headline is a little bit misleading, because it was the one with the most teeth that ended up in hot water this time. A 33 yr old Naples, Florida woman faces burglary with assault or battery charges, after allegedly breaking into a neighbor's home, and refusing to leave. It all started innocently enough, as Tina S. Gonzales was celebrating her son's birthday, as any loving, upstanding mom would, by getting tanked up on hard liquor and beer. No problem so far, right? Read on...

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Smithsonian Institution
Smithsonian Institution
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The Carjacker from Another Dimension

I love weird news stories, you know the kind of stories where people aren't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. I ran across this one while perusing newspapers from around this great nation of ours, and it made me chuckle. Dateline: Portsmouth, New Hampshire. A convicted felon is being held on $25,000 cash bail for allegedly carjacking a woman, along with other charges including receiving stolen property,  driving while intoxicated, and disobeying a police officer.  During his arraignment, Douglas Ellison said he was from the '5th dimension'.

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