KLUB 106.9 The Rock » Dumb Criminals

Woman Jumps From Roof of Gas Station….Gets Airlifted to the Hospital

Dave Fenix — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:48:33 +0000

It just be raining dumb bitches in Angleton, TX. The small town of roughly 30,000 people is the county seat of Brazoria County....and just so happens to be where I grew up.

A 21-year-old woman traveling with her parents was airlifted to a Houston hospital after jumping from the roof of a gas station Sunday afternoon, police said

Furious Man Stupidly Calls Police to Complain About Ugly Prostitute He Hired

Drew Weisholtz — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:00:39 +0000

Buyer, beware. A man in Britain was so upset about what the prostitute he paid for looked like when they met up at a hotel, he decided to call the police to complain in the funniest bit of dialogue to come out of the country since Ricky Gervais created ‘The Office.’ The john contacted authorities [...]

Naked Man Shows Off His Sweet Gynmastics Skills In San Francisco Subway Station (NSFW)

Dave Fenix — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 13:04:25 +0000

A few weeks ago, a man decided to stroll on down to the 16th street subway station in San Francisco. Not anything out of the ordinary right? Well this particular individual decided that his clothes were just too much of a hassle and so he did what any red-blooded, extremely unstable American would do…..he got [...]

Lovesick Thief Learns the Hard Way Not to Steal During Live News Report

Drew Weisholtz — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 22:46:01 +0000

Getting dumped was just the beginning of this guy’s problems. A recently-dumped man in Poland was caught on camera during a live news report stealing roses from a florist in a bid to win his ex-girlfriend back. Andrzej Czapka couldn’t afford the flowers, so he decided to just swipe them from the shop, unaware a [...]

Man Demands To Go to Jail After Running Out of Video Games

Drew Weisholtz — Sun, 09 Jun 2013 11:06:46 +0000

A man under house arrest in New Zealand wanted to go to jail because he’d run out of video games to play. What the Halo was he thinking? The man, 19, called cops on Tuesday to say he would like to finish the last month of his 11-month sentence in the slammer because he had [...]

Boneheaded Woman Collecting Workers Comp Caught on 'The Price Is Right'

Drew Weisholtz — Tue, 04 Jun 2013 17:25:40 +0000

The price was definitely not right. A postal worker from North Carolina has been busted for worker’s comp fraud after she was spotted spinning the big wheel on ‘The Price Is Right’ after claiming an on-the-job injury prohibited her from lifting mail trays. An indictment stated Cathy Wrench Cashwell spun the wheel twice. The indictment, [...]

Man Steals $35 Worth of Ribs, Goes to Jail for 50 Years

Drew Weisholtz — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 22:12:09 +0000

What’s that they say about the punishment fitting the crime? A man in Waco, Texas has been sentenced to 50 years in prison after he was convicted of stealing a rack of ribs. Willie Smith Ward, 43, committed his fall-off-the-boneheaded crime back in 2011 when he pilfered the ribs from a grocery store and then [...]

UFC Fan Uses Guillotine Choke To Stop Carjacking

Joe Student — Sat, 01 Jun 2013 11:03:32 +0000

The rise of UFC has had an impact on the American sports landscape, but it also might help fight crime. Need proof? Ask Shron Antoine Jones, an alleged carjacker in Stockton, Caliornia who wound up in a guillotine choke hold when he tried to steal the SUV of UFC fan Abel Simmons.

High Schooler Changes Fellow Student's Name in Yearbook to Lewd Term, Gets Busted

Donald Deane — Thu, 30 May 2013 22:25:21 +0000

Missouri high school student Kaitlyn Booth probably thought she was pulling off the mother of all pranks when she changed a fellow student's last name to an offensive term in the school's yearbook, but now the joke's on her. Booth has been arrested and could be charged with a felony.

Irate Mom Who Mooned School Bus Is Going to Jail

Drew Weisholtz — Wed, 29 May 2013 12:30:33 +0000

We all know taking the school bus can be tough for kids, but who knew it could be so rough for parents? A Suffolk, Virginia woman has been sentenced to one month in jail for mooning a school bus after she exchanged some heated words with the driver back in November. Lisa Grant, 34, was [...]

Naked Man Arrested at Victoria Mall

Dave Fenix — Tue, 28 May 2013 11:40:04 +0000

Victoria police officers arrested a San Antonio man Sunday afternoon for running naked and screaming “nonsense” at Victoria Mall. Police Sgt. Jay Strauss said Rene Esparza, 40, was arrested about 2:15 p.m. for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest and transport. Esparza was apparently lodging at the La Quinta hotel across the street from the mall [...]

Thief Steals Purse, Gets Hit by Bus, Re-Thinks Career Options

Drew Weisholtz — Wed, 22 May 2013 17:20:43 +0000

What comes around goes around. And sometimes, it comes around much quicker than you expect. This thief in Columbia thought he’d come up with a great way to steal a woman’s purse. And everything seems hunky dory for him until a big ol’ bus got in his way and mowed him down. Amazingly, the thief [...]

College Student Fakes Own Kidnapping to Hide Failing Grade

Donald Deane — Wed, 22 May 2013 01:26:58 +0000

Nobody likes sharing bad report cards with parents, but one college student in Atlanta gets high marks for creativity by faking his own kidnapping to hide a failing grade. According to officials, 19-year-old Aftab Aslam texted his parents about a kidnapping, then went camping for a week in an undeveloped area in Forsyth County. Aslam [...]

Houston Mom in Running for Worst Mom in the World for Putting Three-Year-Old Son Up for Adoption on Craigslist

Adam West — Fri, 17 May 2013 15:04:03 +0000

Craigslist is a great resource for meeting people and buying and selling almost anything. But when it comes to giving away children, there are probably better ways. That didn't stop a Houston, Texas woman from offering her three-year-old for adoption on the service, however.

What the…? Man Burns Down Neighbor's House Because He Didn't Cut His Lawn

Drew Weisholtz — Fri, 17 May 2013 11:25:09 +0000

If you have good neighbors, consider yourself lucky. Police have arrested Phillip Roger Bennett, 58, of Cartersville, Georgia, after he tried to burn down a neighbor’s house as a punishment for not mowing the lawn. Bennett had reportedly been up in arms because his neighbor across the street, Marty Corbitt, had let his front lawn [...]

Internet Celebrity 'Kai The Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker' Arrested In Philadelphia For NJ Murder

Dan Alexander — Fri, 17 May 2013 00:31:45 +0000

Internet celebrity “Kai The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker,” also known as Caleb Lawrence McGillvary, has been arrested for the murder of a Clark, NJ man. McGillvary was arrested by Philadelphia Police at the Greyhound bus terminal and is being held on $3 million bail according to WPVI TV. “I am grateful for the overwhelming response and [...]

Man Breaks Into Supermarket and Eats 57 Cans of Whipped Cream

Drew Weisholtz — Wed, 15 May 2013 21:35:29 +0000

Trevor Runyon took a trip to the grocery store no one will soon forget. Runyon, 30, was arrested for breaking into a supermarket overnight in Mount Washington, Kentucky and enjoying the type of culinary bonanza usually reserved for Russian weddings. The manager of ValuMarket walked into work on Monday morning to find 57 empty whipped [...]

Woman Slaps Cop So She'll Go to Jail and Stop Smoking in Most Hair-Brained Scheme Ever

Drew Weisholtz — Sun, 12 May 2013 18:07:34 +0000

A woman in Sacramento, California is about to become the cigarette butt of many jokes. Etta Lopez, 31, was desperate to stop smoking so she came up with a novel (and ridiculous) way to try and kick the habit: she slapped a policeman in the hopes she would be arrested and wind up in a [...]

Dad Not Invited to Picnic Sets House on Fire Because That's the Most Reasonable Thing to Do

Drew Weisholtz — Wed, 08 May 2013 20:27:03 +0000

A man in a Poland has found himself to be a favorite in the contest for “overreaction of the year.” Czeslaw Kaminski, 69, blew up his home because his wife and kids went to a picnic without him. That’s right — instead of realizing he was being given the elusive gift of peace and quiet, [...]

Burglar Calls Cops While Burgling, to Report Imaginary Burglar

Drew Weisholtz — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 19:00:34 +0000

Marius Ionescu is a burglar who likes to work alone. The 31-year-old Romanian man was robbing a house when he came up with the brilliant idea of calling the police, after he heard a noise that he thought was another intruder. Sounds like the only thing this guy has any business breaking into is [...]