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Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a literary slop zombie; a mutt breed of surrealism and violence; a man who likes his metal heavy and his rock southern. In May of 2007, he boldly published a book of maniacal short stories entitled ‘Toilet Bowl Soup: Redneck Tales from the Armpit of America’ - selling more than 10,000 copies worldwide. However, in 2010, he released ‘Toilet Bowl Soup: The Holy Sh*t’, which sold about 100 copies - if you count close friends, relatives and other people who felt sorry for him. Mike Adams also co-stars in the films ‘Watch Out’, ‘Phone Sex’, ‘Wamego: Ultimatum’, and ‘Trust Me’. He has also contributed music to the movie “It Came from Trafalgar” starring Hank Williams III and Gunnar Hansen from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Mike Adams currently resides in Southern Indiana where he is sometimes more of a drinker than a writer. Can you blame him?
Japanese Sex Ritual
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Watch This Public Sex Ritual in the Spirit of Fertility and Cheap Thrills

At first glimpse, the whole scene depicted in this video appears to be a nightmare found underneath Stanley Kubrick’s mattress; it has the pulse of a three-way gang-bang under the anonymity of a few wretched venetian fiend masks that look as though they were salvaged from either a back alley dumpster or a Bangkok rape kit. Yet, further inspection reveals that this twisted performance is all part of one of Japan’s most ancient public sex rituals – Ondra Matsuri, which translated means “Rice Field Festival.”

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Category: Humor, Videos, Weird News Tags:
Giant eyeball
Scott Olsen, Getty Images
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Man Loses His Eye in a Bar Fight…and Then Again in Court

There are a few important things to consider before going out and getting into a bar fight: one, there is no such thing as a fair fight, especially where drunkards are concerned; you will be hit with both foreign and domestic glass objects. Two: there is a really good chance you will end up in jail and possibly even prison. Three: it is possible for a man to get hit hard enough to cause his eyeball to come flying out of the socket.

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Predicktor
YouTube
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New Smartphone App Predicts Penis Size

This recently developed app claims it can predict the size of a man’s erection with nearly the same accuracy as a crooked bookie in a horserace. Dr. Chris Culligan says his Predicktor app is a fun and interactive way to help all of those guys walking around with “little pecker syndrome”  to see that they really aren’t packing that much less than the common man.

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Category: Humor, Science, Technology Tags: ,
Whiskey and coke
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Thanks, Science: Cutting Whiskey With Diet Soda Gets You Hammered

To the wild-eyed booze enthusiast, it is a sometimes-necessary evil to cut 80 proof whiskey with diet soda, to keep that girlish figure without having to throw your balls up over your shoulders and just do shots. Good news, friends -- it's also an efficient way to get tanked.

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Drunken aliens
Patrick Aventurier, Getty Images
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Tough Day, Bro — Dude Gets Abducted By Aliens and Charged With DUI

While there is no scientific proof that the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol will render a person completely insane, there is certainly no shortage of case studies within this mad, mad world to build a strong argument against it. See above.

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Does sex burn calories
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New Research Finds Bumping Uglies Only Burns 21 Calories — Dibs on Telling Richard Simmons

If you've always lived your life by the age-old myth that you can burn 300 calories every time you knock athletic shoes with your partner in carnal knowledge, a new study suggests that you might want to start bumping uglies on a stationary bike or elliptical machine – recent findings show the average person only burns roughly 21 calories while barely sweating it out in the sack.

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Category: Health, Science, Victoria News Tags: ,
Earth
Handout, Getty Images
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Science Could Be Close to Mapping Out Alien Worlds

Scientists are making revolutionary advancements in how they study alien planets. Recently, astronomers discovered that they could use the process of reflecting starlight in order to create composite maps of unknown worlds that would enable them to define pertinent aspects of planetary life, such as land, water and clouds. 

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The Jerk
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Drunken Jerk Drops Pants, Spanks Off, Sings for Police

Across the bayou, it is not difficult to find a crossbreed of stark-raving mad drunkards and dive bar sideshows aggressively humping the legs off civil society. Unfortunately, when there is nothing civilized left for these gutter fiends to devour besides the skin in between their teeth, the only hope for the rest of us is that soon the flood waters will rise again and bury these beasts at sea.

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Category: Dumb Criminals, Humor, Weird News Tags:
Betelgeuse
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Star 1000x Larger Than the Sun Set to Collide With Interstellar Wall and Oh God What is an Interstellar Wall?!

Not only is the famed Betelgeuse star set to burn out the remainder of its astronomical life, but it is also on an immediate crash course with a ginormous interstellar wall. Thanks science, we were just saying earlier how we never wanted to sleep ever again!

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Category: News, Science, Weird News Tags: ,
Fallen snowman
iStockphoto
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Drunk Man Has Sex With Snowman and Gets Frostbite On His Wiener

There are times when the eyes of an alcoholic reveal a darkness so vast that everything decrepit in the universe appears to makes sense, like a bloodshot looking glass reflecting a message from God - or maybe not. Either way, occasionally a rare breed of sloppy degenerate rises up from the drunken pits of hell to prove to the rest of us that there is a long way to go before we ever hit rock bottom. You'll know them by their frostbitten penises. 

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Category: Health, Humor, News, Weird News Tags: ,

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