Mike Adams

At first glimpse, the whole scene depicted in this video appears to be a nightmare found underneath Stanley Kubrick’s mattress; it has the pulse of a three-way gang-bang under the anonymity of a few wretched venetian fiend masks that look as though they were salvaged from either a back alley dumpster or a Bangkok rape kit. Yet, further inspection reveals that this twisted performance is all part of one of Japan’s most ancient public sex rituals – Ondra Matsuri, which translated means “Rice Field Festival.”

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There are a few important things to consider before going out and getting into a bar fight: one, there is no such thing as a fair fight, especially where drunkards are concerned; you will be hit with both foreign and domestic glass objects. Two: there is a really good chance you will end up in jail and possibly even prison. Three: it is possible for a man to get hit hard enough to cause his eyeball to come flying out of the socket.

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This recently developed app claims it can predict the size of a man’s erection with nearly the same accuracy as a crooked bookie in a horserace. Dr. Chris Culligan says his Predicktor app is a fun and interactive way to help all of those guys walking around with “little pecker syndrome”  to see that they really aren’t packing that much less than the common man.

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To the wild-eyed booze enthusiast, it is a sometimes-necessary evil to cut 80 proof whiskey with diet soda, to keep that girlish figure without having to throw your balls up over your shoulders and just do shots. Good news, friends -- it's also an efficient way to get tanked.

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It is hard enough to fathom, much less accept as truth, that some of the most expensive and luxurious fragrances in the world are produced using giant wads of sea dung, but it's true.  

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While there is no scientific proof that the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol will render a person completely insane, there is certainly no shortage of case studies within this mad, mad world to build a strong argument against it. See above.

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If you've always lived your life by the age-old myth that you can burn 300 calories every time you knock athletic shoes with your partner in carnal knowledge, a new study suggests that you might want to start bumping uglies on a stationary bike or elliptical machine – recent findings show the average person only burns roughly 21 calories while barely sweating it out in the sack.

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Scientists are making revolutionary advancements in how they study alien planets. Recently, astronomers discovered that they could use the process of reflecting starlight in order to create composite maps of unknown worlds that would enable them to define pertinent aspects of planetary life, such as land, water and clouds. 

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Across the bayou, it is not difficult to find a crossbreed of stark-raving mad drunkards and dive bar sideshows aggressively humping the legs off civil society. Unfortunately, when there is nothing civilized left for these gutter fiends to devour besides the skin in between their teeth, the only hope for the rest of us is that soon the flood waters will rise again and bury these beasts at sea.

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Social networking has always been a way to anonymously spy on people you wish you were hooking up with, but now it can be a tool to help make it actually happen.

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Not only is the famed Betelgeuse star set to burn out the remainder of its astronomical life, but it is also on an immediate crash course with a ginormous interstellar wall. Thanks science, we were just saying earlier how we never wanted to sleep ever again!

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There are times when the eyes of an alcoholic reveal a darkness so vast that everything decrepit in the universe appears to makes sense, like a bloodshot looking glass reflecting a message from God - or maybe not. Either way, occasionally a rare breed of sloppy degenerate rises up from the drunken pits of hell to prove to the rest of us that there is a long way to go before we ever hit rock bottom. You'll know them by their frostbitten penises. 

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