Contact Us

New Gross Research Reveals Alligators Have a Permanent Woody

You probably didn’t know this (and if you did, you’re kind of gross maybe) but unlike many other reptiles and mammals, alligators crawl around all day with a fully erect pecker tucked inside their body, which engages like a sexual switchblade (great band name) when it comes time for some of that good old Louisiana swamp lovin’. 

Until recently, not much was known about how alligators do the deed, says Diane Kelly, an anatomist at the University of Massachusetts. However, in a study published this week in the March issue of Anatomical Record, Kelly details how she found out more about the elusive alligator wiener – by playing with a few of them.

What she found was that firmly packed inside the alligator’s rear end, commonly referred to as a cloaca (Latin for “sewer,” which seems telling), was a nearly 3-inch penis that closely resembles a rare albino mushroom. To Kelly’s surprise, the pale “cockodile” was not a flaccid piece of meat as it is with other animals. It was stiff enough to cut glass.

You see, an alligator’s penis is full of a hard substance called collagen, which acts as sort of a pre-fluffing agent that keeps the alliboner at full capacity at all times. When the beast gets aroused, a set of muscles in the cloaca region contracts and sends its tiny white rocket bursting out the crapper. Damn guys, think about how hard it would be to masturbate on the toilet if our junk was secretly located in our sphincter. Then again, just the thought of having a fully erect penis emerge from our anus brings tears to our eyes.

Incidentally, Kelly says that she has recently teamed up with another researcher to study the ejaculatory system of the alligator. That’s interesting –  we’ve heard stories of men being forced to beat on alligators as a means for survival, but this is the first time we’ve ever heard of two people beating off an alligator in the name of science. It’s a wild world, folks!

Next in Gross Science -- Meteor Ooze Found

More From 106.9 The Rock

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://1069therock.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on KLUB 106.9 The Rock quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here.

Sign up for an account to comment, share your thoughts, and earn points to get great prizes.

Register on KLUB 106.9 The Rock quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!